8/19/2010

So I’ve been working out consistently. I either go to the gym or I hike along a trail by my house. I have to say that I’m proud of myself for staying on top of it.

I’ve noticed that men are starting to check me out. This makes me feel good. I need to have sex. Badly. Masturbating is good and all but I need to feel the weight of a man on my body. I need to lay my head upon a strong chest. The man on my dreams chest is hairy. But I love it. It’s so manly. Today he called me his biggest fan and borderline stalker. Needless to say it was a huge blow to my already fragile ego. On Facebook no less. At least he didn’t call me out by name. At first it didn’t bother me. I actually laughed my ass off cuz he ended it with hahaha. Then I was out for my two-mile trek and the more I thought about it the more upset I became and eventually I broke down and cried. If I had any sense I would cut all ties. So I came to the conclusion that I would be friends with him on Facebook but I will not send him any more texts nor call him. All I want is to hear his voice. I love his voice. And this is the one thing that he denies me.

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This entry was posted in American Culture, Body Image, Fat Girl, Self-esteem, Standards of Beauty. Bookmark the permalink.

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